If it wasn't for the lighthouse, where would this ship be?

So I have been thinking for awhile now about starting a blog. I have a few concerns (Will it even be interesting to read? Who will read it? Who do I want to read it? Will I complain too much? Use it as a outlet for my anger and not address problems in life in true passive aggressive fashion? Will people think differently about me because of what I write?)! No matter, I have decided to start today. I have thought several times about what my blogs would be about.

Things in life are crazy and sometimes stressful, but in all reality, I am truly blessed. I could not ask for anything else. I don't need, nor do I want, anything else. And to whom do I owe this great life? God. But what have I done for him lately? Relative to my time growing up in the Church, my service, outreach, and church attendance has decreased. We haven't been to church in several weeks now and as each Sunday comes and goes, it becomes easier to make other plans or sleep in. Maybe this is just is an excuse, but I don't want to go to church because it is what is expected. Oh the comments, "We miss you! We haven't seen you in so long!" Though they may mean well, I hate the feeling of guilt and need to explain myself. While I don't want to feel obligated to go, I really enjoy it and I get something out of it every time. I also feel, for me, it is necessary to maintain focus on God and what is really important. Just like it becomes easier each time to pass up church, I don't want it to get easier to pass up God.

Most times, I really enjoy the fellowship of being with my church family (at both Brian and I's church and the church in which I grew up). You cannot find people who care more deeply for you than at your church. These folks have watched us grow up. But for a while now, I feel like going to a church where I won't know everyone, so I can sit and just be with God in His house. The best feeling I have found of just sitting and being with God is listening to a capella music. I have no problem with instruments in church. I think it is a mode of worship in itself, but to me, there is nothing so pure and holy as voices singing to God. I have always enjoyed this. When I was in Austin, I would go to a Compline (night) service that was completely sung or chanted by a male choir. With the lights low, it was so peaceful, and such a great end to the day. Due to the nature of the service and the fact that I didn't know many people in Austin, I could sit in that dimly lit church and just be with God.

I have been reading the Bible a lot more lately. I do that when I feel like I need to figure out what God is really trying to tell me. I often tell people I wish I knew Hebrew, so I could read the first scriptures, not that the ones that have been translated time and time again. Not that I think the ones we have now are wrong, but it would be neat to read them with every word in its true state. I think that this has been good for me, of course. It is nice to read what is written and not what people say is written. Maybe I should take the Bible and a blanket to the park and spend sometime outside with God. I know God is everywhere, but sometimes "everywhere" gets a little crowded and busy.

Well now you have my theological thoughts for today. Maybe tomorrow we can talk about how I believe in evolution AND intelligent design all at the same time! I know you can't wait. To sum it up and fulfill the title of today's blog, I really believe that if it weren't for the lighthouse, I'm not sure where this ship would be.