Yes, I know it is no longer Monday. While I dread Mondays like everyone else (especially the Monday after Spring Break), Mondays are by far the most productive day of my week. I think the reason behind this is pure anxiety and guilt (again especially after Spring Break) is this. It is a vicious cycle. I work hard in the lab at the beginning of the week, towards the end I work on my lesson for Franklin that week, and then I spend a day in Franklin becoming completely neglectful of my lab duties. While many grad students, not in my lab, are working from sun up to sun down on the weekends as well, my weekends are lazy- full of sleep and computer gaming. After that, say 4 day, lapse in laziness and/or neglect for my lab work, Monday rolls around great anxiety in tow. When Monday hits, I work diligently to complete as many tasks for the week as I can. I should really space out the task over the week to reduce anxiety and apathy for my job in the following days, but I just can't. I am fine with sitting around, but I cannot sit around knowing I have a long list of things to do. I MUST get them ALL done on Monday. I know the reality is they can't ALL be done on one day for various reasons, but I try. None-the-less it makes for a very productive Monday which leaves me with a great sense of accomplishment and tired.
Tired- ah that is why I am up at 6:10 in the morning. I have really been up since about 2:30. I fell asleep on the couch about 10 o'clock, due to my very productive Monday, and then woke up around 2:30. I got ready for bed, climbed in and laid there for an hour (yes I say 'an' hour, so I write 'an' hour whether it be correct or not). Now I am here. The night started with productive work for school and has ended in this fabulous post.
On a side note, I am stressing out about a hotel room reservation. I am going to New Orleans in April for a scientific meeting. Normally we would share hotel rooms and split the cost. I don't want to share a hotel room and I think I have waited too long to look for a roommate. I would really rather stay with my Korean lab mate (who is male), than some girl I don't know, but I think that is social unacceptable. SO I am trying to find a room that is reasonably priced (100-150) in a nice enough hotel in hopes to save my lab some money. The secretary also booked flights for us without our consent, which is not a huge deal, but she booked us to stay 6 nights. The hotel bill alone will be quit hefty. I have spent hours over analyzing the situation, and I think I might just speak with my professor tomorrow. If you have any suggestions please let me know. Again I am tight, even with money that is not mine!
Well I think I am off, unfortunately to get ready for school. Even though I am really tired, I know if I go lay down for a few hours, I will not wake up until late this afternoon. Hopefully I can avoid another late night nap on the couch tonight, but that's doubtful. Hope you all have an awesome day!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Show me the money
So I have decided that financial responsibility does not come until you actually have money to spend, or you have something specific in which to save. Yes, I understand the idea of credit card debit, but that is not an option for us. If we do not have the money, the item does not get bought. When money is short, the decision not to buy is easy. The hard part comes when there are funds available. This is when my inner tightwad battles the desire to purchase something.
I have always been the one to save, for the most part. I remember a time in second grade when Jason and I were in a close race for the most class dollars (you received money for doing good things and then you could buy items at the class store). Rather than buy items at the class store, Jason and I saved all of our money; then it became a contest. In the end, I spent a good deal of money on a putt-putt trip with my teacher. Though it was hard to let go of all of that cash, it was money well spent and still one of the greatest memories I have of my elementary school days. I'm not sure what Jason's reward was for ending up with the most money.
Well now, as well all know, the money is real. Now it comes down to making smart decisions. My folks taught me to save because you never knew what will happen. Though it is never fun to shell out money on something you don't want to pay for (for me it is usually my car), it is nice to have the money and not worry too much about it. Today my inner tightwad lost out, and a new computer was purchased. I "need" a new desktop. My laptop is great, but it is starting to wear out. That worries me because a great deal of my PhD work, and thus the work of the past 4 years, is on my laptop. I do back up my hard drive, thanks to you John, but I need to get into the habit of doing it regularly to reduce the risk of important files being lost.
This new purchase will keep me in line for the next few months. Hopefully, we will make wise decisions concerning our money. Brian gives me total control of the finances, which puts my control freak mind at ease. I have to admit, I had a hard time when we each had our own account and I didn't know what his looked like. I would also like to think the control freak aspect of myself only comes out at times, like with money, but I would probably be lying. Hmmm sounds like another blog in the making...
I have always been the one to save, for the most part. I remember a time in second grade when Jason and I were in a close race for the most class dollars (you received money for doing good things and then you could buy items at the class store). Rather than buy items at the class store, Jason and I saved all of our money; then it became a contest. In the end, I spent a good deal of money on a putt-putt trip with my teacher. Though it was hard to let go of all of that cash, it was money well spent and still one of the greatest memories I have of my elementary school days. I'm not sure what Jason's reward was for ending up with the most money.
Well now, as well all know, the money is real. Now it comes down to making smart decisions. My folks taught me to save because you never knew what will happen. Though it is never fun to shell out money on something you don't want to pay for (for me it is usually my car), it is nice to have the money and not worry too much about it. Today my inner tightwad lost out, and a new computer was purchased. I "need" a new desktop. My laptop is great, but it is starting to wear out. That worries me because a great deal of my PhD work, and thus the work of the past 4 years, is on my laptop. I do back up my hard drive, thanks to you John, but I need to get into the habit of doing it regularly to reduce the risk of important files being lost.
This new purchase will keep me in line for the next few months. Hopefully, we will make wise decisions concerning our money. Brian gives me total control of the finances, which puts my control freak mind at ease. I have to admit, I had a hard time when we each had our own account and I didn't know what his looked like. I would also like to think the control freak aspect of myself only comes out at times, like with money, but I would probably be lying. Hmmm sounds like another blog in the making...
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
And there was rumen fluid sloshin everywhere...
Well I was going to write about a family I found on Facebook. I have been following their blog for the past month or two. I know it is just a blog, but I believe they are a truly amazing family. Their story is heartbreaking, and the idea of losing a loved one, especially my spouse, "too soon" is one of my greatest anxieties. Jenny writes that nothing in her life up to that point could have prepared her for her husband's death. None-the-less, her love, commitment, attitude, and faith are beyond inspiring.
I thought if I wrote too much about my feeling on that topic this entry would be much too heavy. So my activities of today will have to suffice.
I feel my words will not be vivid enough to explain the environment and if I post pictures there will be an uproar due to the inhuman treatment of animals (though there was not ANY inhuman treatment going on). Today we did a baseline tailhead fat biopsy on cannulated cattle. The cannulated cattle have large 'hole' on their side that allows direct access to many parts of their digestive system (they have four stomach type compartments). We will be infusing Arginine and CLA into one of these compartments.
This is not a picture of our cattle or our facilities, but this is a cannulated animal. Note the stopper.
Though the stress of getting everything ready for an event, such as this, is pretty great, I really enjoy getting out of the lab and working outside with the animals (even if they are stinky and boy are they). We ran 14 steers through the shoot to biopsy. It went really well despite the fact the lidocaine solution I made was not the right concentration, but a trip back to the lab and David's short jokes, made everyone (most importantly Dr. Smith) happy. Each time we work out at the "farm" I become more and more comfortable. I learn so much. Today, I learned how to draw blood from the the jugular vein. I would have gotten more practice, but our non-english speaking post-doc took over. Punk. That makes three blood draw techniques on living animals I know: rats eyes, pigs ears, and steer jugular vein. Woo fun! I wonder what will be next!
I mentioned the animals are smelly, but you get used to it. That is until the "rubber stopper" gets pulled out of the hole. Then you can see straight into the rumen and buckets full of rumenal fluid (a cross between vomit and poo) come sloshing out everywhere. Delicious! The guy helping us with the cattle did not seem too concerned and neither did the steer. He just picked the stopper up, being careful not to get sloshed on, and stuffed it back in with his bare hands. I'm sure he laughed at our inexperience and amazement.
Well that about sums up our day at the farm. We made it back by lunch and let me tell you, there's nothing like eating lunch smelling like cow poo. I would like to reassure everyone that the animals are treated very well. Especially the cannulated one's, because I'm sure they are a little pricey. And once your cannulated your cannulated. I have come a long way from that day when I asked Jim Bob the difference between a cow and a heifer, but I still have a long way to go for this all to be just another day at the office.
I thought if I wrote too much about my feeling on that topic this entry would be much too heavy. So my activities of today will have to suffice.
I feel my words will not be vivid enough to explain the environment and if I post pictures there will be an uproar due to the inhuman treatment of animals (though there was not ANY inhuman treatment going on). Today we did a baseline tailhead fat biopsy on cannulated cattle. The cannulated cattle have large 'hole' on their side that allows direct access to many parts of their digestive system (they have four stomach type compartments). We will be infusing Arginine and CLA into one of these compartments.
This is not a picture of our cattle or our facilities, but this is a cannulated animal. Note the stopper.
Though the stress of getting everything ready for an event, such as this, is pretty great, I really enjoy getting out of the lab and working outside with the animals (even if they are stinky and boy are they). We ran 14 steers through the shoot to biopsy. It went really well despite the fact the lidocaine solution I made was not the right concentration, but a trip back to the lab and David's short jokes, made everyone (most importantly Dr. Smith) happy. Each time we work out at the "farm" I become more and more comfortable. I learn so much. Today, I learned how to draw blood from the the jugular vein. I would have gotten more practice, but our non-english speaking post-doc took over. Punk. That makes three blood draw techniques on living animals I know: rats eyes, pigs ears, and steer jugular vein. Woo fun! I wonder what will be next!
I mentioned the animals are smelly, but you get used to it. That is until the "rubber stopper" gets pulled out of the hole. Then you can see straight into the rumen and buckets full of rumenal fluid (a cross between vomit and poo) come sloshing out everywhere. Delicious! The guy helping us with the cattle did not seem too concerned and neither did the steer. He just picked the stopper up, being careful not to get sloshed on, and stuffed it back in with his bare hands. I'm sure he laughed at our inexperience and amazement.
Well that about sums up our day at the farm. We made it back by lunch and let me tell you, there's nothing like eating lunch smelling like cow poo. I would like to reassure everyone that the animals are treated very well. Especially the cannulated one's, because I'm sure they are a little pricey. And once your cannulated your cannulated. I have come a long way from that day when I asked Jim Bob the difference between a cow and a heifer, but I still have a long way to go for this all to be just another day at the office.
Monday, March 9, 2009
If it wasn't for the lighthouse, where would this ship be?
So I have been thinking for awhile now about starting a blog. I have a few concerns (Will it even be interesting to read? Who will read it? Who do I want to read it? Will I complain too much? Use it as a outlet for my anger and not address problems in life in true passive aggressive fashion? Will people think differently about me because of what I write?)! No matter, I have decided to start today. I have thought several times about what my blogs would be about.
Things in life are crazy and sometimes stressful, but in all reality, I am truly blessed. I could not ask for anything else. I don't need, nor do I want, anything else. And to whom do I owe this great life? God. But what have I done for him lately? Relative to my time growing up in the Church, my service, outreach, and church attendance has decreased. We haven't been to church in several weeks now and as each Sunday comes and goes, it becomes easier to make other plans or sleep in. Maybe this is just is an excuse, but I don't want to go to church because it is what is expected. Oh the comments, "We miss you! We haven't seen you in so long!" Though they may mean well, I hate the feeling of guilt and need to explain myself. While I don't want to feel obligated to go, I really enjoy it and I get something out of it every time. I also feel, for me, it is necessary to maintain focus on God and what is really important. Just like it becomes easier each time to pass up church, I don't want it to get easier to pass up God.
Most times, I really enjoy the fellowship of being with my church family (at both Brian and I's church and the church in which I grew up). You cannot find people who care more deeply for you than at your church. These folks have watched us grow up. But for a while now, I feel like going to a church where I won't know everyone, so I can sit and just be with God in His house. The best feeling I have found of just sitting and being with God is listening to a capella music. I have no problem with instruments in church. I think it is a mode of worship in itself, but to me, there is nothing so pure and holy as voices singing to God. I have always enjoyed this. When I was in Austin, I would go to a Compline (night) service that was completely sung or chanted by a male choir. With the lights low, it was so peaceful, and such a great end to the day. Due to the nature of the service and the fact that I didn't know many people in Austin, I could sit in that dimly lit church and just be with God.
I have been reading the Bible a lot more lately. I do that when I feel like I need to figure out what God is really trying to tell me. I often tell people I wish I knew Hebrew, so I could read the first scriptures, not that the ones that have been translated time and time again. Not that I think the ones we have now are wrong, but it would be neat to read them with every word in its true state. I think that this has been good for me, of course. It is nice to read what is written and not what people say is written. Maybe I should take the Bible and a blanket to the park and spend sometime outside with God. I know God is everywhere, but sometimes "everywhere" gets a little crowded and busy.
Well now you have my theological thoughts for today. Maybe tomorrow we can talk about how I believe in evolution AND intelligent design all at the same time! I know you can't wait. To sum it up and fulfill the title of today's blog, I really believe that if it weren't for the lighthouse, I'm not sure where this ship would be.
Things in life are crazy and sometimes stressful, but in all reality, I am truly blessed. I could not ask for anything else. I don't need, nor do I want, anything else. And to whom do I owe this great life? God. But what have I done for him lately? Relative to my time growing up in the Church, my service, outreach, and church attendance has decreased. We haven't been to church in several weeks now and as each Sunday comes and goes, it becomes easier to make other plans or sleep in. Maybe this is just is an excuse, but I don't want to go to church because it is what is expected. Oh the comments, "We miss you! We haven't seen you in so long!" Though they may mean well, I hate the feeling of guilt and need to explain myself. While I don't want to feel obligated to go, I really enjoy it and I get something out of it every time. I also feel, for me, it is necessary to maintain focus on God and what is really important. Just like it becomes easier each time to pass up church, I don't want it to get easier to pass up God.
Most times, I really enjoy the fellowship of being with my church family (at both Brian and I's church and the church in which I grew up). You cannot find people who care more deeply for you than at your church. These folks have watched us grow up. But for a while now, I feel like going to a church where I won't know everyone, so I can sit and just be with God in His house. The best feeling I have found of just sitting and being with God is listening to a capella music. I have no problem with instruments in church. I think it is a mode of worship in itself, but to me, there is nothing so pure and holy as voices singing to God. I have always enjoyed this. When I was in Austin, I would go to a Compline (night) service that was completely sung or chanted by a male choir. With the lights low, it was so peaceful, and such a great end to the day. Due to the nature of the service and the fact that I didn't know many people in Austin, I could sit in that dimly lit church and just be with God.
I have been reading the Bible a lot more lately. I do that when I feel like I need to figure out what God is really trying to tell me. I often tell people I wish I knew Hebrew, so I could read the first scriptures, not that the ones that have been translated time and time again. Not that I think the ones we have now are wrong, but it would be neat to read them with every word in its true state. I think that this has been good for me, of course. It is nice to read what is written and not what people say is written. Maybe I should take the Bible and a blanket to the park and spend sometime outside with God. I know God is everywhere, but sometimes "everywhere" gets a little crowded and busy.
Well now you have my theological thoughts for today. Maybe tomorrow we can talk about how I believe in evolution AND intelligent design all at the same time! I know you can't wait. To sum it up and fulfill the title of today's blog, I really believe that if it weren't for the lighthouse, I'm not sure where this ship would be.
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